Friday, August 22, 2014

Fuck Protocol

Edgy title, very cursey.  I haven't posted in a hot minute because I've been busy adding slabs of beef to my arms legs and torso but I wanted to collect some good quality brain farts in a jar and release them all at once in a giant cloud before I just settled on writing something less than sincere in a sentence THIS long.  So here we go:

Fuck protocol

Specifically, fuck you for following it to the letter, and even more specifically, fuck your gains.  I'm seeing it pop up in a few places still, guys and gals following a piece of paper that says do a 3x8 with X amount of weight and blowing through it without much thought to the point of why they're even doing it.


Why 3x8?  is it only 8 reps because 10 would be too hard, sloppy or impossible?  Do your delts know how to count?  Is this a magic code that your body understands and starts pumping out test?  Is it... ok you get the point.

What if I told you that the concrete number of sets and reps and weight didn't matter by themselves?  What WOULD matter?  How do people become bigger and stronger?

Working against various levels of resistance in different states of fatigue. That's it.

How much WORK are you doing by flailing your chicken wings for 3 sets of eight or one set of two  reverse band when the resistance just isn't there.  Ask yourself this:  Could I have done 3, 4 or 5 more?  If the answer is "yeah probably" then you probably aren't doing shit in the gym.

Now I'm not advocating training to failure and I do leave a rep in the tank on most every lift, but what I'm saying is train for the days INTENT, not the numbers on the paper. 

A lot of people like set in stone rep schemes.  They buy an e-book and trade the price they pay for the luxury of not having to think.  If they just do the exact reps and sets as prescribed, then it's the programs fault if they don't grow stronger or bigger.

Wrong, asshole.

It's YOUR fault for not being invested in your own training. My advice to the young, up and coming, the lazy and the uninspired is the same:  Fuck protocol.  Go off the reservation once in a while, step out of your safe place and get your feet wet, beat your own path, blaze your own trail, google your own cliché.  Take responsibility for your own gains (if you really give a shit.)

If the sheet says do squat triples with 300 and it was too easy, fuck you for not using 305, 310 or 315.  You've totally missed the entire INTENT of the day, heavy triples.  HEAVY, not kinda heavy, not light, not fast, not easy.  Do some HEAVY work.  Same goes for having an off or shitty day.  If you're programmed for 5 sets of 3 with 300 and the first set you only completed two, then drop down to 285 and get a third on your next set.  Vary the weight to get the desired effect of heavy triples.

obligatory photo of my back
Now obviously not everyone is going to agree with that, and I'm not presuming to tell an elite or experienced athlete how to train, because odds are that they change things on the fly in training all of the time already.  Changing the workload or the weight, (up or down) is better than changing the INTENT of the day.

I set my bench training up to be a challenge that I know I will complete week in and week out.  The weight and volume stays challenging but I'm always a step ahead of the days work.  The INTENT of the day is always set in stone, but the sets and/or reps may change depending on the variables of the day.

For instance, 3 weeks ago I was programmed for heavy bench triples.  Well I was out of town for work and lifting at midnight after a long day on the job.  I completed 3 of the 5 sets and knew the 4th and 5th just weren't there, so I switched to floor press and completed them that way.

Conversely, this past week I had heavy bench triples again and not only did I smash all sets with a heavier programmed weight, but I even went UP 5#'s on the last set and destroyed it as well.



Speaking of the bench program, several people have begun training with this method and are reporting positive results.  The feedback I'm getting confirms what I already knew.  My program isn't just the holy grail for my titties, but for titties everywhere.  Here's what some peeps had to say about it so far:

"Beats the shit outta 531 for me when it comes to bench. always felt like I wasn't warmed up enough when I got to the final 531 set and then that was it (and it was an AMRAP set). feel like RBBP gives me more practice dialing in form with relatively heavier weights due to the volume." -BR

"I did my first bench day on your program yesterday. Im liking it a lot so far. I showed it to a few guys at Iron Mafia and they said it looked really solid. Another guy is gonna use it as well." -JG

"So it's week 3, came in thinking 320 for the 5x3...smoked 325 for it instead, fired the fuck up about this program." -MT

I am literally no one in the sport of powerlifting and three testimonials isn't anything to pitch a tent about, but I know these guys look stronger and say they feel stronger and that makes me feel pretty damn good about the program.


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